Critique Request A scroll to introduce myself

[LVCIAN]

I have been learning scrolls for several weeks when I found this forum. I've learned a lot poking around here.

This is today's effort, and I'd like to know your thoughts before I sat down to shade it.

Thanks for all the tips whether you know you gave them or not.

LVCIAN

 

[Jkasal]

Looks beautiful. I especially like the folding leaves.


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[Jonathans]

Really nice! Would you be ok if I use that to practice with?

 

[LVCIAN]

Really nice! Would you be ok if I use that to practice with?

I should think that would be ok, so long as if its posted you give credit

 

[Bluetickhound]

Looks really nice! Shading would really do it justice.

 

[Eric Olson]

If you move your border in 1-1 1/2 squares so your leaves break the edge every here and there it will give it even more dimension.
Also I would say that you are trying to use all your tricks in one drawing - your scrolls will have a more rhythmic flow
and be more pleasing to the eye if you don't vary the "inside" leaves so much.
Looks good though!

 

[LVCIAN]

If you move your border in 1-1 1/2 squares so your leaves break the edge every here and there it will give it even more dimension.
Also I would say that you are trying to use all your tricks in one drawing - your scrolls will have a more rhythmic flow
and be more pleasing to the eye if you don't vary the "inside" leaves so much.
Looks good though!

Thanks for that.
I hadn't considered that it might have too much variation.
You may be right... A bit more of the "self-same" evolution with in the scrolls could draw the eyes to the centers instead of giving so much to look at.

 

[Omar Haltam]

Looks very nice, like Eric said
looks great but a little busy

 

[Crossbolt]

Nice.
I think it is a good demonstration of the use of gridded paper.
Did you use the grids to help guide the form? I assume so.
I've been using plain for most of my doodling apart from some drawn grids but maybe I should give some of my gridded paper a work out in some Meek style exercises.
Thanks for posting.
Jeremy

 

[monk]

looks nice to my eye. there's tiny areas i don't like, but are personal preferences. others may like those areas, so i'll keep mum. do you find the grids make designing easier? i never drew using grids, so i don't know if things progress better that way. looks to me, this is ready to go on metal.

 

[LVCIAN]

Nice.
I think it is a good demonstration of the use of gridded paper.
Did you use the grids to help guide the form? I assume so.
I've been using plain for most of my doodling apart from some drawn grids but maybe I should give some of my gridded paper a work out in some Meek style exercises.
Thanks for posting.
Jeremy

The grid lines do help with determining proportions.
Judging over all size of each scroll, and helping apply the correct ratios as the scrolls expand.

 

[LVCIAN]

looks nice to my eye. there's tiny areas i don't like, but are personal preferences. others may like those areas, so i'll keep mum. do you find the grids make designing easier? i never drew using grids, so i don't know if things progress better that way. looks to me, this is ready to go on metal.

I'd actually like to hear your nits.

I dont usually work on grids but this is the note book I had and it fits in my pocket. The grid did make finding flats and elbows in the work easier and helped me keep the golden ratio in prospective.

 

[LVCIAN]

Thanks for the encouragement.

I went ahead and shade this piece without making any changes, but I will carry forward your advice on the next piece.

Let me know if you have any additional advice on proper shading.

 

[monk]

I'd actually like to hear your nits.

I dont usually work on grids but this is the note book I had and it fits in my pocket. The grid did make finding flats and elbows in the work easier and helped me keep the golden ratio in prospective.

the arrows show the 3 areas that I THINK detract a bit from the overall design

 

[LVCIAN]

Any input on how you would fix them?
I'd it shape, size, flow? Or would you replace the leaves with an additional scroll?