Critique Request Al mar eagle

[Matthew Evans]

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[papart1]

Just don't stress over it...............let it flow

 

[Matthew Evans]

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[Leland Davis]

Cut it. You have shown great discipline on this project but at some point you have to go with your instincts and do it. I liked your last design too. Ultimately it's your deal. I look forward to the finished piece.

 

[T.G.III]

Cut it........

 

[Matthew Evans]

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[Matthew Evans]

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[John B.]

View attachment 49154
Gonna fix a few things with the squished scroll on the left and redo the very origin area but I’m not mad at it. This was loose is some areas just so I could get in metal before the work day but all thoughts are appreciated.

Mathew,
Before you cut it on that beautiful knife please look at some of both of the Sam's, Lee Griffith's, Ron Smith's and other engravers scroll work.
Scroll is a depiction of a stylized version of a living plant.
Your backbone and stem are way too thin in places to provide the nourishment and support for the generous leaves growing from it.
And in several places your outside leaves are just stuck on the the backbone stem, with no connection to to the source and flow of nourishment from that stem.
On the left side of your second scroll at the bottom the stem is just a single line from the bottom leaf onward.
No possibility for nourishment from a single line to the following scroll and leaves.
In most places you have drawn some very nice elements.
But please study how nature and growing plants live and grow.
Then please look at your design again before cutting it on the knife.

 

[Matthew Evans]

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[John B.]

Much, much better and some interesting elements.
The open area at the top, between the two scrolls will prove difficult in creating a background.
Very large, open area.
And most leaves and elements in the first scroll do not touch and break up the background segments.
As is, will create a pinwheel of background.
Please darken the drawing background areas before cutting and re-visualize your design.
Just needs a couple of little changes to be a real winner.
Will enjoy seeing it shaded. If your shading is as good as your drawing, a real winner.

 

[AllenClapp]

Matthew, You may wish to look at the stem of the two large scrolls as it approaches the final leaves. For the first scroll, the stem looks thicker than that that preceded the last section. It runs from thin where the intermediate leaf wraps around it to thick as it approaches the leaves near the end. The left one has the stem to the second to last leaf looking larger than the stem to the double leaf that precedes it, at least to my eye. I do like the overall composition now, except for the open background area on the top center that was discussed above. If you don't want to close that, then you can try gradually decreasing the density of the stippling dots as you move from the dark inside to the opening (if you are using stippling for the background). I have sometimes had some success in doing that on some practice designs provided in an early class, but I have also had it come out looking weird. Overall, it is looking good--a pleasing flow.

 

[Matthew Evans]

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[John B.]

Much better now.
And it reads well since you blacked in the background and extended some of the second scroll leaves.
Not crazy about the huge central leaf cluster in the middle of the first scroll.
That will take some really good shade thinking to make it look right.
Maybe something like the lowest first pair on the second scroll where the stem reads that it continues under the center of the pair would help.
The stem, the backbone, of the second scroll would look better and more authentic if it were a little thicker where it originates from the first scroll. A bit anemic in that area to feed the following, luxurious scroll.
Really nice drawing,,,,,,,,,,and I'm sure you have your own ideas for these problem areas.
Gonna look great when shaded!!! Looking forward to seeing it.

 

[Matthew Evans]

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[Matthew Evans]

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[Matthew Evans]

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[Matthew Evans]

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