Sam Alfano launches new product

[fegarex]

More from Marty.. Don't blame me!!


Here's a follow up on the Balding Wax

I got a call from Bruce Willis and he wants me to be technical advisor on the new film. I am naturally bald and am familiar with non-power assist engraving and they want the utmost in authenticity for the film.

It seems that while Sam was picking his banjo, the Chinese replaced his secret Balding Wax formula with their own. This will make you think you are bald and think you can engrave. Furthermore.they are stealing everybody's foot throttle leaving them helpless at the engraving bench. This is all to help the sales of their "knock-off" engraving machines and ruin the western economy. The new film is called "DIE BALD....WITH A GRAVER"

I believe Biggs is doing the promo posters already for it

 

[Steve223]

ROTFLMAO...... Die Bald....With A Graver HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[monk]

balding wax

you guys think this is funny ? my wife now looks like rex ! she got in this stuff thinkin it would make her hair shine. what should i do ?

 

[fegarex]

I don't know if that was a compliment or an insult, Monk..

 

[bronc]

Now I'm hearing there will be a scene reminiscent of Lonesome Dove in the Die Bald movie. Sam and Marty are traveling to the FEGA convention in Reno. They stop at a saloon in northern Nevada for a little refreshment. They encounter a rude bartender who refuses to serve them, so Sam removes his chasing hammer from his pocket and taps the poor fellow over the head. As they are leaving the establishment Marty exclaims " why in the #$%^ did you hit that little #$%^&* , don't you #$%^&*@ know we could get into trouble". Sam calmly replies "I won't put up with dawdling service and besides, there's no law against whacking a surely bartender". I'm also hearing that because of graphic violence (Sam vs. the epilatar) and other assorted issues (Marty's somewhat colorful command of the English language) this movie will definately be rated R. Since Rex is invoved with the production, hopefully he can tell us more.

Stewart

 

[dclevinger]

Rex,
Is there going to be a private screening at the new members welcome meeting? I'll bring the popcorn and Johnny Walker.
David

 

[fegarex]

I'm sworn to secrecy.......

 

[John B.]

I'v heard of Last Comic Standing.........but last Engraver.......
Wow! we should take this thread on the road.
Too funny, great.

 

[bronc]

More details on the Die Bald movie.

Sam's Balding Wax is a huge hit. Men all over the world are spending their hard earned money to sport the bald engraver look. Against Abigail's better judjement, Sam decides to sell out to a large multi-national company and invest his new found fortune in another venture, "Sam's Psychedelic Socks". He soon discovers that Abigail was right, again, as usual, and his socks of many colors are about as popular as a coyote in the chickenhouse.The sock business soon succumbs. Sam is forced to give up his dream of revolutionizing footwear fashion and return to his roots, once again being nothing more than a world class engraver and renowned teacher.

Meanwhile, the producers of the Tonight Show are looking to boost rating. Taking note of the popularity of the balding engraver look, they fire Jay Leno and hire Marty Rabeno to take his place. Marty brings Andrew Biggs along to be his partner, kinda like Ed was to Johnny Carson. Every night the show begins with Andrew announcing, "Now heeeeeeres #$%^&*&$ Marty". One of their first guests is non other than Weldon Lister, author of the national bestselller "The Engraver and the Comb", the book which helped launch this whole debacle.

And last but not least, Rex Pederson, upon seeing his two friend's new found fame, decides to also give Hollywood a shot. Luck is with him. Soon after arriving in L.A., he lands a recurring role as a door to door microscope salesman on a new soap opera "As the Positioning Vise Turns". After a slow start, the network executives decide to change the show's title to "The Bald and the Beautiful". Ratings go through the roof after a cameo appearance by Sam and Marty.